I stand, alone,
Cornered in a big, white world.
Sometimes, it frightens me
When loneliness' big scar begins to bleed.
However, I often find tranquillity
To be a protective shield in my solitude.
All that were once human
All those souls once real
Are now mechanical.
Drugged zombies on parade!
The rolling stoned!
Marionettes pulled and abused,
They can't feel,
Wood can only burn...
But O.K. look! How they smile throughout the performance!
Fine entertainment, indeed,
But I can see more clearly...
I can never play these games.
I am hated for loving the ticks!
I trust those who kiss my head and then rape me!
I have grown up naive,
But my intelligence has always and still remains
A rapidly pulsating engine.
Now, I'm a vulnerable fuck!
But I'm a pure, human, angelic one!
Your emotions are straw while mine are sturdy.
Your promises are sand,
Counterfeit!
I burn just the same,
But at least I can scream.
And so on and so on
The world decays to charcoal.
Generation destruction,
So full of pride and so full of shit
And so are you!
Technology is the bastard!
Technology is a pathetic excuse for laziness,
For unproductiveness,
An insipid theory to replace your brain and your spirit.
Your God is responsible for my existence
As much as yours.
The only difference is obvious,
Your religion and your politics
Have dismembered my savior from the cross.
Your identification status: Methodist/republican.
Your identification status: Catholic/democrat.
Your identification status: Lutheran/conservative.
I, one, alone, nursing and comforting Jesus
As a million feet kick his fallen body.
Oh, shit! I'm really standing here alone,
Cornered in this big, white world.
I'm well aware that the verdict is in! No I'm not surprised to be declared guilty of this crime; the crime of having too big of a heart. The crime of holding angel's soul well captive inside of me. I'm guilty being too human, too polite, too nice! Although I had rarely perceived this enormous glittering all over me to be such a horrendous felony... but in an environment suffocating on the bile of its own society that operates upon its hang-ups, judgments, and charismatic attitudes. I presume that this dreadful, chaotic disease of mine is truly a problem. A fatal epidemic! Love is the solidified acid that continues to pollute and ravenously devour my body! Endless love, for which I am stupid and gullible enough to waste on multitudes of tormenting humans. This excess of love for all of these atrociously naked gorillas, is bound to be the superior coroner to locate me six-feet underground. It's the poison in the near-phallic ice-pick that shall forever slit and puncture my skin! Love for this shoddy denominator referred to as mankind is to be the life-sentence that I continue to serve with the most ridiculous, embarrassing smile on my face.
My heart that constantly fuels this auctioning love in my vital engine, ejaculates over those who had only torn it apart and spit its molecular particles in my fucking face. I was only displaying a portion of my heavenly spirit unto you. You had no reason scream or complain or lash out your attitude upon me. You had no explainable desire to strike the atomic force of your hostile soul upon a simple, sane specimen such as myself. I was only cherishing yet another emotion of sanity and extreme serenity. Yet somehow in your cheap arrogance you have to accelerate your effort to transform my exhilarating solitude into a negative, angry mood swing-attack! My resentment has now exceeded to an enormous quantity for you, YOU SLUGGISH LIFE-LACKING SPECK! I want your testicles smashed into the density of a pancake! Fuck the margarine or any of those optional condiments... I do believe that I could receive more nourishment from the demise of your worthless humanity. I am only a simple, harmless star. I only speak in harmonic whispers and joyous arias. The only feedback my system is receiving is noise. Your high-pitched violence becomes unbearably deafening. Noise! Noise! NOISE! Why can't you mellow out or select the better option of leaving me the fuck alone?!? I was only sleeping! I was only enraptured by another moment of peaceful, conscious meditation! I can't bear your unnecessary shrieking or your exploding ego so dead and mechanical. I can feel myself getting cold and sick by the heavy ruffles now forming on my body and soul Please, just lock me back into my soft box and let me rest! Just shut your mouth and lay me back down in silence! Just shut yourself down, return and remain remote... if only you could. If only you could.
The only thing I can wholeheartedly sure of is that I am entirely sick from the inside, twisted directly outward of the cleanliness of my spirit. You stupid criminal, wretched heart of mine... I fucking curse at you for betraying my soul by throwing its good and gentle doors ajar, obliging openly for others to anally, publicly, and violently rape my God-given humanity. It brings so much shame and hatred in me because I am constantly moaning inside in ecstasy while I was only being impaled and dismembered through every second of these horrid moments. My heart, my love so eager to give away, is my enemy. All it ever does to me is slice and dice me to tears, oh... even now I can feel the tears raining from the vile, sour aroma!! So painful, so greatly painful is this ball of grime and gel and wet clay inside me. OH God... my one true love of my existence, tonight I realize that all in my heart is to calculate into my unnatural death. Therefore, I solely pray unto you to please, PLEASE, JESUS ... to make this vulnerable heart of mine to explode and disappear into infinite pieces! Though I am well aware that I never wanted to live forever, unfortunately and especially now (exact way I currently live), I have chosen to remain in order to learn more about society's evil and how to possibly destroy them... from the inside surface to the core! Moreover, if the lord of life could just disconnect my heart from my internal being, destroy its stabbing, pulsating, and to promote my life-support to my brain. Oh, God... you know as well as I that my brain has never hurt me or lied to me! It is only fair that this cerebral tower deserves the responsibility and main center of my existence. If I wake up the next morning to find that my heart has died and combusted to ashes, I would understand. If I would, instead, discover that my intelligence and senses are keeping me on this earth... I would be so pleased, grateful and ever-so-understanding! Let's face it Lord... the heart is nothing but a cold-blooded serial killer screaming and clawing, eating its way around the organs and tissue of my delicate soul. Somehow, this sickness... caused from too much goodness and too much love, deserves to be executed to the highest power that you, the only judge, can sentence to me!